27th December 2017 was the day, as usual, I took one of my write-ups to several WhatsApp groups, Facebook groups & my handles also.

It is a tradition for me that after writing an article, I try to share it with a few WhatsApp & Facebook groups basically for two things; Sharing my thoughts with other audience and secondly to get feedback which could also be in the form of criticism, thumbs up, corrections and so on. I feel it is essential for a young writer and blogger who plans to have a future from it.

One faithful evening, I dropped my article on various social media platforms and went offline. Two hours later, a senior friend called and said, “Affos, they're insulting you o” and immediately I ended the call & went straight to the WhatsApp group and behold I saw them, they were pretty much but painful enough the first comment I saw was from one person I held with so much high esteem, infant he was a role model to me, unknown to him.

Normally, I'm used to these kinds of things; getting criticized and insulted. But this particular one got to me because the person who said it first is someone I look up to as a mentor and role model. Guess what he said? “Do they still teach the English language in Taraba state?” That's to show you the level of how erroneous my article was.

Though he was cautioned because his use of language was harsh to a young man like me who is coming up and looking up to him but he insisted I am an undergraduate student and should do better and open rebuke is better since my typing blunders were on a public domain.

Honestly, it didn't go well with me, I took it too hard because I couldn't even sleep well that night. I tried as much as possible to let it go but then I almost felt demoralized; I felt horrible and stopped writing for the sake of fear of another unexpected “insult”.

Each time I go to my notepad to put out something, the message will pop up in my head “Do they still teach English In Taraba State” and I will write halfway and keep it. If I manage to finish it, I won't post or publish it.

But then, for how long would I continue in fear & killing my passion & gift because someone corrected in a manner I felt was harsh. So I kept writing, though with fear.

Weeks later when the same person saw my article he said: “Affos you're getting better, I'm proud of you my boy”. I screenshot the comment and keep it.

There are a few 'lessons I want us to pick from the little story of mine:

I know that someone of his profile has nothing to lose by demoralizing me, so I decided to get better, besides it was a privilege having someone of such personality reading my piece.

So whenever I want to write, I have it at the back of my mind that a high profile person will read this and let me let him know that they taught me English well in Secondary School.

Also, some harsh comments come because such people expect you to do better or they know that you can do better than you are doing.

Sometimes we should learn to look beyond how the corrections sound but the intent behind them.
Since that day my article has improved though not completely free from error.

An action might be good on its own but if it is done for the wrong reason, it will cause harm in the end. Also, an action might be bad on Its own but if done for the right reason, in the end it will be more justifiable than the former. The intent behind an action matters.

Above all, one way to grow in any field is by learning to accept criticism as feedback regardless of who it comes from, how they come or sounds.

Musa Affos (Rhapsodi) Is A Blogger & Social Media Activist.

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