King Jakes

Dear parents, it is with utmost respect and love I write this. The Nigerian parent is the best form of parent any child can pray for in this universe. We owe it to you for whatever good we have become.

Without much deviation, I'll like to speak on the reason of writing this.
It is the joy of every parent to see their wards excelling in whatever they do, it is a thing of celebration for children to achieve greatness. A parent to a successful child will always be proud of that child.

Now, parents we all know you love your kids and want the best for them but the thing here is most of you do not know the right way to show this love. Most parents show love to their children in the very wrong way sending wrong signals to the kids.

As a parent, you should not just dictate how you want your child to behave. The way our DNA differs so does our habits and one's habits cannot be forcefully changed. One can only change if he wills it himself.
Most times these children we see as stubborn are not truly stubborn in the literal meaning of the word, but they're kids who have strong wills to do what they find joy in and when that comes contrary to what the parent wants, the parent thinks it stubbornness.

As a parent, you should first of all try to read and understand your child, study what he or she likes, observe his or her habits and character. After all that, draw the child closer by talking to him or her as a friend and not as a parent.

When you know your child and their wants, likes and favorite, you tend to develop a certain understanding about them that helps in your dealings with them. A child who likes keeping friends will certainly keep them no matter how hard you try to stop him or her. A child who likes hanging out will certainly do it even if it means sneaking out of the house without your knowledge.

Each and every child has their separate character which they never cut off from no matter how hard you try to pull them from it. It is most times what they are born with while sometimes they see from others and develop a liking for it.

Dealing with children and making them achieve better things in life surpasses the idea of using the rod to correct the child in as much as it has been proven numerously how 'the rod' tend to harden the child towards acting against the parents wish.
As a parent, after observing and knowing your child, it is now time to be sure he does what he wants in a safe setting. When your child likes keeping friends, make sure he brings his friends home so you can screen exactly the good from the bad and talk to your child to see reason with you and do away with negative friends.

If your child is one who fancies going out, get to know where he goes to, wherever you're not cool with, stop him from going. Give him time and place limit. If he's the reserved type, try to notice whenever there is a change in his attitude.

Knowing your child helps a lot in understanding what is going on with them.
When a child is of the adolescent or adult age, do not think you can stop that child from having emotional relationships, you'll only deceive yourself and put the child at a risk. Always advise your child on how important every stage of life is and how he or she should not be too fast in acting independent from you the parent. Know the friends they keep from the opposite sex, do not scare them into hiding their friends.
As a parent, the worst mistake you can do is to tell your child he's evil. No matter how bad his actions are, you should not put it to him that he is evil it will make him see no meaning to life and this has proven to be another cause of suicide among adolescents.

Lastly, it is good to punish your child but it is foolishness to make that child feel dejected. Dejection is a major cause of suicide.
The bottom line is, do not rush into forcing your child do what he or she doesn't subscribe to, always consider they're young people coming up. They might be faced with many situations emotionally, physically, mentally etc. Your incessant scolding will only add to their injury and give them more reason to feel dejected.
Know when you're child's habits or character is changing. Prayer or morning devotion will not do what simple common sense should have done. When your child is depressed, help him or her out. Do not add to their depression, save a soul dear parent.

#RABTeam